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trust yourself and everything else will follow

Why You Need to Trust Yourself

Everyone is faced with some form of trust issues.

Whether it’s trust for yourself or trust for other people, life would be a lot easier if this ability to trust became second nature, rather than something we need to work on constantly.

Living in a world of mistrust

We are living in an increasingly complicated world. Where things like deep fakes are populating the Internet and social media filters shade faces ever-so-subtly that we cannot differentiate the real It’s no wonder that our ability to identify a scam or opportunity, what real and what not has dimmed.

Courtesy of Bloomberg

Fake news has been running rampant for the last several years, and misplaced judgments are rife across the board, as people respond only to headlines instead of digging deeper into the details of a story.

There are so many lies everywhere, it can be hard not to know what exactly is valid these days. And with growing mistrust in our institutions and a lack of belief in the things around us, it can thereby be tricky to confidently trust in ourselves.

The psychology of self-trust

The building blocks of self-trust don’t come easily.

Depending on how we’re raised, the type of environment we grew up in, some of us have it built into us and others, unfortunately, don’t.

Carl Rogers: Founder of the Humanistic Approach to Psychology
Image via Thoughtco

Carl Rogers, the Father of Humanistic Psychology coined the term “Positive Regard,” where he notes that an ideal place for the unfolding of self-trust is one where a person feels completely accepted, without any judgment, condition, or doubt.

Although that sounds beautiful, we all know that we aren’t all lucky to grow up in such environments.

However, while the places and environments we grow up in may be out of our control during adolescence, the decisions we make thereafter, during our adulthood are things we can actively do something about.

Getting Out of Thinking Traps | The Village Family Service Center

It’s all a matter of breaking free from the traps that have shaped around our minds over time — although easier said than done. We’re all wired to respond according to past experiences and traumas that have come our way.

Shame and self-esteem

One of the reasons so many people lack genuine trust in themselves can come from the desire to avoid that great feeling of shame. Whether it’s being discouraged to do something by your parents or being made fun of for failing, shame is something we all despise feeling.

In fact, a study by June Tangney of George Mason University, a clinical psychology professor who had studied the area of shame for decades, found there to be a correlation of people who were more prone to shame to oftentimes, have low-esteem. And we all know, those with lower self-esteem are less active, feel anxious more, and have a greater sensitivity to criticism — which only adds to the shame cycle.

Moreover, in a 2009 study, professors Sera De Rubeis and Tom Hollenstein discovered that teenagers who showed higher signs of shame-proneness, were more likely to experience symptoms of depression as well. This demonstrates a definite link between shame, depression, and anxiety alike — as further supported by a report by Thomas A Fergus et al in 2010.

The benefits of trusting yourself

It can be a long and arduous process to break out of the mental chains that hold us down. But it’s important for us to be aware and learn to trust ourselves, in just a little bit, as building self-trust has a myriad of benefits. Not only does it help in finding out who you truly are, unlocking the potentials that lay dormant within, it can also allow you to discover the following:

  • You’ll learn to trust others better — When you know what kind of person you truly are deep down and how your values come into play, self-trust is the only logical way to make a decision on who deserves your trust and who doesn’t. This comes from knowing both sides of the story as well as having an accurate understanding of your own boundaries. Trusting yourself means that you trust your instincts to tell you the appropriate amount of trust that needs to be placed within each relationship.
  • You’ll be less stressed — Self-trust is built on knowing what kind of person you are deep down. When you have a more positive approach to the self, respecting your own boundaries and others around you, you will naturally become more relaxed and in turn, less stressed.
  • You’ll be energized and enthusiastic — Whether it’s starting a new hobby, building a business, or learning a new skill, self-trust is the key ingredient that fuels your motivation to take on bigger projects and/or tasks. Learning to trust in yourself can help you to understand what it means to achieve something, and adjust accordingly. Knowing your abilities and trusting yourself to accomplish whatever feat helps you to be patient, as roadblocks that come along the way are merely momentary, seen as non-issues that will be overcome eventually.
man wearing white long-sleeved shirt on air photo
  • You’ll become patient — Building trust requires lots of patience which often times means having lots of patience for yourself. Trust, especially self-trust, is a process that can take months to even years, depending on how long you’ve been struggling it internally. The more trust placed within yourself, the less trust will be placed upon other people which means there won’t be any distractions from your goal of improving good habits such as healthy eating or exercising regularly.
  • You’ll become more attractive — When you learn to trust yourself — truly —there is a level of self-confidence that exudes from within. As such, like a magnet, you attract others around you.
  • You’ll live authentically — Living an authentic life is trust in action. Self-trust plays a pivotal role in being the truest version of yourself. It’s often not easy for people to trust themselves because they can be self-criticism and doubt. The moves you make and how you go about doing them will be uniquely you.

Self-trust is a necessary condition of personal autonomy and self-respect. Self-trust involves a positive sense of the motivations and competence of the trusted person; a willingness to depend on him or her; and an acceptance of vulnerability. It does not preclude trust in others. A person may be rightly said to have too much self-trust; however core self-trust is essential for functioning as an autonomous human being.

Trudy Govier

The freedom from trusting ourselves

man opening his arms wide open on snow covered cliff with view of mountains during daytime

So much about our success as human beings relies on self-trust, believe it or not. Learning to trust in our instincts, our decisions, and the moral compass of our minds is what helps to unlock a sense of positive and creative freedom.

Trusting ourselves is a gateway to true creative expression and a path to personal truth. Equipped with levels of analytical insight and self-trust, one can take on challenges of the unknown, and as such, open themselves to opportunities that you may have never fathomed to experience.

Most people live in a restricted circle of potential

— William James